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Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney


Write to Andy Rooney at Tribune Media Services,2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .


It's fun to save stuff
By Andy Rooney
(This classic Rooney column was originally published March 8, 1991.)

AMERICANS USED to routinely put some of their weekly pay in a savings account.

Now, they depend on their company’s retirement plan, Social Security and luck. None of these are as safe as we used to think they were, and we don’t trust savings banks, either.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011 7:22 PM | Updated ( Tuesday, November 22, 2011 7:32 PM )
 
So many things, so little space

(We are reprinting a classic Andy Rooney column originally published March 3, 1985.)

IT SEEMS as though the rooms we live in are getting smaller, with fewer places to store things, and the things we have to store are getting bigger and more numerous. Take the kitchen, for example. It’s OK for inventors to keep inventing gadgets, but when are they going to start inventing some new places to put them? The drip coffeemaker may be handier than the old coffeepot, but it takes up twice as much room and it’s all counter space.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 7:29 PM
 
Good wastebasket not a work of art

(Editor’s note: Andy Rooney, legendary “60 Minutes” commentator known for his humorous and contentious television essays and newspaper columns, died Nov. 4 at the age of 92.  This is one of his past columns on the seemingly simple subject of wastebaskets.)

By Andy Rooney

THERE ARE certain things in our lives we all use, but which should not have much attention called to themselves.
An example is the wastebasket. Wastebaskets play an increasingly important part in our lives as the proliferation of paper threatens to bury us before we can throw it out, but a wastebasket is a strictly utilitarian object.
Any attempt to make it a work of art is an unnatural act. Why, then, have floral designs on

Tuesday, November 08, 2011 8:24 PM
 
What's right? A great deal!
By Andy Rooney

COLUMNISTS MAKE a living pointing out things that are wrong with America. There isn’t much money in talking about all the good things because it’s dull.
What are some of the things that are right with America? Let me count the ways:
We choose our leaders. We vote for officeholders all the way from minor officials in our small towns to the president of our country. Americans accept the authority of the person the majority elects, whether they voted for that person or not.
The stories in the newspapers and on television are of murder, rape, theft and fraud, but by

Tuesday, November 01, 2011 2:46 PM | Updated ( Tuesday, November 01, 2011 2:48 PM )
 
You don't have to buy to have fun shopping
By Andy Rooney

THE OTHER DAY, one of those newspaper columns that gives advice on how to lose weight, make money and live happily ever after gave some suggestions on how to stay within a budget when we’re shopping. The suggestions were to shop alone, stick to a list and don’t shop for food when we’re hungry.
The only part I accept is the advice to shop alone.
I like to shop alone because I don’t want to move through a store at anyone else’s pace. If an

Tuesday, October 25, 2011 2:43 PM | Updated ( Tuesday, October 25, 2011 2:46 PM )
 
The grammar police are at it again
By Andy Rooney

ANYONE WHO writes anything that gets into print receives letters from the grammar police.
The grammar police are a large, unaffiliated group of readers, usually women, often retired schoolteachers, who pour over the newspaper every day searching for dumb mistakes — like writers who say “pour” when they mean “pore.”
It’s seldom that a person who looks for errors can’t find a few, and you can tell from the tone of the letters they write that it makes them feel good all over. They’re proud of themselves. If I’m lucky, the errors they find aren’t in my column — but I’m not always lucky.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011 10:29 AM
 
We must create time for ourselves
By Andy Rooney

EVERYTHING’S crowding in on me. Please step back and give the man some air.
It isn’t just too many people. It’s too many things to do, too many possessions, too much equipment designed to make life easier, too many wires leading to too many electrical appliances, too many relationships to maintain. There are too many events, too many movies and too much television. There are too many books to read. The newspaper keeps coming. There’s no time to sit down and stare out the window without feeling you ought to be doing something.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 2:46 PM
 
People ought to sign work they do

THE OTHER NIGHT, I was sitting looking at a brick wall in the living room of some friends. It’s become popular to tear the plaster off old brick walls in city homes and leave the mellow, irregular shape of old red brick exposed. It adds warmth and charm to a room.
The house was something like 125 years old. Many of the bricks weren’t perfectly oblong, being handmade, and you could see

Tuesday, October 04, 2011 12:28 PM
 
The dream of an incipient snob
By Andy Rooney

IF I COULD have three wishes, I’d use one to wish for a valet. My clothes are in such disarray that I’ve either got to throw them all away and start over or stop everything else I’m doing and spend three days straightening them out and having them fixed, cleaned and pressed.
My standards of dress have deteriorated and I ought to do something before I become a real slob.
Presumably, my clothes are of no great interest to you, but let me tell you about them in the off chance you have some of the same problems.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011 1:44 PM
 
They don't disagree, fight or borrow money
By Andy Rooney

OLD FRIENDS may be the best friends, but new friends you don’t know very well are good, too. They’re not only good, but they can be less trouble than old friends. You know how it is with old friends.
New friends, by which I mean friends with whom you have no serious relationship, make life pleasant. These people are passing-on-the-street friends, elevator friends, small-business friends like the girl at the checkout counter. It would take a week for me to count all the minor friends I

Tuesday, September 20, 2011 10:29 AM
 
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