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Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney


Write to Andy Rooney at Tribune Media Services,2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .


The grammar police are at it again
By Andy Rooney

ANYONE WHO writes anything that gets into print receives letters from the grammar police.
The grammar police are a large, unaffiliated group of readers, usually women, often retired schoolteachers, who pour over the newspaper every day searching for dumb mistakes — like writers who say “pour” when they mean “pore.”
It’s seldom that a person who looks for errors can’t find a few, and you can tell from the tone of the letters they write that it makes them feel good all over. They’re proud of themselves. If I’m lucky, the errors they find aren’t in my column — but I’m not always lucky.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011 10:29 AM
 
We must create time for ourselves
By Andy Rooney

EVERYTHING’S crowding in on me. Please step back and give the man some air.
It isn’t just too many people. It’s too many things to do, too many possessions, too much equipment designed to make life easier, too many wires leading to too many electrical appliances, too many relationships to maintain. There are too many events, too many movies and too much television. There are too many books to read. The newspaper keeps coming. There’s no time to sit down and stare out the window without feeling you ought to be doing something.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 2:46 PM
 
People ought to sign work they do

THE OTHER NIGHT, I was sitting looking at a brick wall in the living room of some friends. It’s become popular to tear the plaster off old brick walls in city homes and leave the mellow, irregular shape of old red brick exposed. It adds warmth and charm to a room.
The house was something like 125 years old. Many of the bricks weren’t perfectly oblong, being handmade, and you could see

Tuesday, October 04, 2011 12:28 PM
 
The dream of an incipient snob
By Andy Rooney

IF I COULD have three wishes, I’d use one to wish for a valet. My clothes are in such disarray that I’ve either got to throw them all away and start over or stop everything else I’m doing and spend three days straightening them out and having them fixed, cleaned and pressed.
My standards of dress have deteriorated and I ought to do something before I become a real slob.
Presumably, my clothes are of no great interest to you, but let me tell you about them in the off chance you have some of the same problems.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011 1:44 PM
 
They don't disagree, fight or borrow money
By Andy Rooney

OLD FRIENDS may be the best friends, but new friends you don’t know very well are good, too. They’re not only good, but they can be less trouble than old friends. You know how it is with old friends.
New friends, by which I mean friends with whom you have no serious relationship, make life pleasant. These people are passing-on-the-street friends, elevator friends, small-business friends like the girl at the checkout counter. It would take a week for me to count all the minor friends I

Tuesday, September 20, 2011 10:29 AM
 
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